Saturday, January 16, 2010

Pregnancy...the second time around!

First off, let me just say how much I love being pregnant! I mean, really, I do. I may be one of those crazy women to you, but I just love feeling my baby move and grow within me, and watch my body change, knowing that God is creating a new life inside of me! It's an awesome feeling that leaves me just speechless at times. But being pregnant the second time around is different than the first. Not in a bad way, just different. I'm still so very elated and overjoyed, and I'm still loving being pregnant, but I'm not constantly worried and anxious about things this time around like I was with Aidan.

I guess with Aidan, pregnancy was a new experience for me, and I had longed to be pregnant, a mama-to-be, for a while, so I was very much concerned if I hadn't felt any movement in a day or two. This time, I'm not so concerned, because I know that babies sometimes face inward, and their kicks can't be felt, and that sometimes you'll go a day without feeling anything, and the baby's just fine. I think having Aidan now, being the busy, active toddler that he is, also keeps my mind not fully focused on Liam all the time. I do feel kinda guilty about that, since all my thoughts were about Aidan the first time around, but I know from talking with other mamas with more that one child, that this is common and there's no way I should feel guilty or even bad. That's just how it goes. So that helps me feel better and keeps me from not beating myself up quite so much.

I am 20, almost 21 weeks pregnant this week, and feeling great! We actually found out on Wednesday, the 13th, that Liam was actually Liam. I had long suspected since the early weeks of finding out that I was pregnant that the baby was a boy, simply because the way I felt pretty much mirrored the way I felt when I was expecting Aidan. I did have "morning sickness" for about a month this time, just like I did the first time, but this time, the "morning" sickness occurred at random times of the day, whereas in the first go-round, I was sick only from 3 pm to around 8 pm. But still, I felt the same way this time as the first, so I just knew this baby was a boy! And the proof was in the ultrasound...I was SO excited to see my second son on the ultrasound monitor! He is just so sweet and much so as a 20 week fetus can be! We had Aidan's second ultrasound at 22 weeks, and this time we had Liam's at 20 weeks, so it was interesting to compare notes on how much babies can change in 2 weeks. I know this is pretty much a stream of conciousness right now...haha!

I am just so glad that Aidan will have a little brother to play with, and be close to. Aidan will be about two months shy of being two when Liam arrives, and I think that's a good age difference between them. My sister and I are 19 months apart, and from my earliest memories, I can always remember her. She and I did everything together; we were built-in best friends. And still are! I can only hope and pray that Aidan and Liam will have a good, fun relationship as brothers and best buddies. I'm sure they will! :) On Wednesday night before church, we went to Olive Garden as a family (just the 3 of us) to celebrate baby Liam, and I showed Aidan an ultrasound picture of Liam, and told him that he was going to be a big brother to his little brother, Liam. He just stared at the picture, and I said "That's the baby!". Aidan pointed to the picture, said "Baby!" and then immediately tried to grab the picture to put it in his mouth! It was funny...I think since he thought I was showing him something at a restaurant, where we are supposed to eat food, that the picture must be some kind of food, and he was all willing to try it! Haha! I know he doesn't understand his new role, or that in about 4 months that there will be a new baby in the house, but Chris and I talk with him about it every day so that one day it will click with him and will hopefully make some sense.

All right, all right...enough with the rambling. Sorry for such a long blog, but I reckon I just had a lot to say about my feelings on pregnancy. I am so thankful that God has blessed us with two healthy boys, and that He has entrusted these two, precious, innocent souls to us to raise to know Him and to love Him, and to lead to Christ. It's such a huge responsibility when I think about that from that perspective, but that's the absolute truth. Thinking that way makes me want to be a super better mama each and every day! And Lord willing, I will try with all my might! Off to bed now, so goodnight y'all!

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